Ladies, Before You Sleep With a Married Man You Must Know This;

1. The only thing he wants is sex. He comes and goes back home to his wife.
2. He is never going to leave his wife for you
3. You are most likely not to be the only one
4. After using you he will move onto someone else
5. He doesn't owe you anything
6. Getting pregnant on purpose won't trap him; his kids are at home with his wife
7. His money and property is for him and his family, you only get the small change/ balances .
8. You will never be part of his future
9. You will always be the reason for his children sufferings
10. One day you will also cry like his wife because someday some lady will make you pay!

Why He Hasn’t Paid Your Dowry Years down the Line

We have received dozens of emails from Kenyan women complaining that their husbands have neither paid their dowries nor shown any intentions to for up to 7 years in their unions. With this topic, I intend to be very brief and on point. As always, we don’t mince with words here at juicy posts.

Most of the time, men would say that they are not yet ready economically to pay dowries, but this sometimes is just an excuse. Isn’t he opening new branches in his business, buying a new car and don’t forget that house you moved into recently. The guy has some mullah after all.

The true reason why he hasn’t paid your dowry yet after these years is because;

1. He is not yet sure about you

The guy is not yet sure that you are the woman that he wants to spend the rest of his life with and so, he is just taking it easy and making separation easy. Without having paid your dowry, separation can be easier once he finds the ‘Right’ woman.

2. You are not worth the investment

It may be that he is not seeing any value in taking his hard earned money to your parents. In his mind, he is wondering what for? In exchange with you? You are not worth it. He may have discovered that you do not have the good qualities of a wife that he was looking for. Your behavior, how you treat him, maybe you bore his dick to death in bed and just maybe he doesn’t enjoy living with you but has no balls to tell you.

3. You haven’t yet given him a baby

No man wants to marry a barren woman. Even after sweating on top of you for the last 6 years, you have nothing to show for all those drums of semen he has been dumping in your nunu. He will not pay your dowry till you prove that you are a real woman who can not only milk his scrotum dry but also, a woman who can bear fruits out of those scrotum contents.

4. You two are not compatible

He has discovered that your futures are not headed in the same direction. You two are not Seeing Eye to eye on issues and you are just not in his future visions.

5. Your parents are a nag and you are playing along

Modern men don’t like being told what to do. It maybe that your parents have reminded you time and again that your dowry has not been paid and you, with your foolishness has gone to remind your hubby that he has not fulfilled that important dowry ritual. Owe onto you, you just pissed him off. He won’t pay it soon.

6. He doesn’t like your people

For the years that you have lived with him, he has had time to interact with your people. Unfortunately, there are some things that he has seen and he just doesn't like your relatives. Therefore, taking dowry to them is the last thing he will do.

If the above continues, he will never pay your dowry and instead, he will marry another woman. You will just hear that he has a dowry ceremony somewhere. Don’t faint… that’s the way men operates. Welcome to the mind of penis carriers!!!!!

Facebook Blind Date Shit

A picture speaks a thousand words; have found out that four out of these are spoken by Facebook Profile Pics:
1. I work in a cosmetic factory; in real life, I look something a pig has just vomited
2. The pics you seeing were taken fifty years ago or belong to our last born sister in high school
3. Boy, I picked them in online stock photos!
4. I was runners-up for Miss Morgue 2009 but you can’t tell till you meet me

This chick in-boxed me the better part of Dec, I was convinced she was cute from the pics, decided to give her a small date in town. From experience, I have known that birds who get interested with you in social networking sites are either socially inept in the real world or look a cross of a demon and a devil. Real gals get dates in the real world. They get men in buses, bars, weddings, funerals etc if they are worth it. There is no free chick in Facebook, only ugly sluts.

With my brother the other day, I phoned the chick, told me she is in a pub called Zeep but held up, and will call me once she is free. Shit! It raised the first red flag! A chick held up in a pub? At 1 P.M on a Monday, is she a cleaner? A stripper learning the routine? Second red flag, her English was so rustic, sounded like a village kindergarten teacher.

The gal had told me in earlier exchanges that she was a model, asked her agency name but she sounded tortured, then known that it was a fib. Now, with that accent, she was indeed a honky-tonk model!

I was convinced that the chick had mistaken me for a brothel client and had a mind to forget her and go about my biz in town but a combination of chivalry and adventure got the better of me.

After an hour or so, she texted me that she was free. We left to meet her.

On a high stool, puffing a cigarette, dressed in outlandish attire, drinking a Tusker beer, talking with another witch was our model. She stood to hug me, I almost vomited! Her perfume smelled like our high school toilet disinfectant, brought back lost memories! She introduced her colleague and the other gal smiled like a lion! Gosh, there is no prize for guessing that these are sluts! The pests are going hi-tech, soliciting clients in social sites. Jesus Christ Holy Brother of Mine!

Disheveled boobs, overused lips-drinking, smoking, kissing rough surfaces (bottles and drunkards and hard dicks) woody body, scratched face with thick make-up, a scar on her neck ( probably a bite from another slut) missing eyelashes….a vampire helluva slut!

Have always known sluts to be creative but this was a new one.

Reminds me of another brush with the oldest profession on earth!

A chum of mine who is left the country for long visited me the other day and we decided to slosh in a pub we used to hang out when we were broke college students, the honky tonk is called Dodds, next to Kenya Cinema, what we experienced was like a prelude to a porn movie. Sluts at different levels of getting laid, some with one boob beeping out of a bra, another with one leg lifted up a stool (pussie stench steaming out,) another kissing a patron loudly, one getting fingered by a drunk patron, another one sucking a dick… as soon as we ordered a drink, the vermin swarmed around us, I got asphyxiated with the foul stench.

Some were pretending to be nice working gals, and they had newspapers to boot! Don’t mind that it was ten at nite.

Back to my date with the model, we ordered a soda, drank quickly, watched as the slut talked herself silly and we left without another word. It was such a torture. She hasn’t called since then. Thankx be to God!

You are better off hooking up your neighbor’s housegal, the green grocer gal, the waitress with a rounded butt in your joint etc at least you know what you are getting into. Forget about Facebook!

Am I right?