Men: 9 Types Of Kenyan Girls That Are Easy To Sleep With

#1. Campus girls:

Buy her unique clothes from the city stalls; pick her up from her hostel in a borrowed BMW or ‘Blue Subaru’. Take her to Java then to Club Tribeka or Skyluxx every Friday and Saturday and she will unleash it for you in the car.

#2. Karen and kileleshwa girls:

These ones embrace the phrase ‘Hard To get’ like it’s David Livingstone who said it. You vibe her in English, flirt with her, feed her family and friends, take her on a date at Lepalanka, buy her a Samsung galaxy and she loses it in one week. You give her quarter of your salary then she can let you k!ss her. But don’t let her shinanigans stress you. You just have to be smart. If you want to end up in her Disneyland, take her for shopping at Sarit Centre and tell her you have business deals with Chris Kirubi at 10 the next day. She will spread it all for you.

#3. The ‘I wannna be kim kardashian’ girls:

They are also the types that want to be socialites. Locally, Vera Sidika is their role model. They’ll do anything for cheap fame. Just lie to her that you are back from Marbella Spain or Las Vegas USA and that you are a renowned video director. She will let you to mumunya her in her b3d. However, make sure you survey the room, these girls always have cameras, and you may appear on Ghafla.

#4. Church girls :

Just tell her that you are from a rich family and that your father works with T.D Jakes in Minnesota and she will believe you! Or tell her you are a son to a Bishop hence you intend to become a priest. Add that she is the one you saw in your dream after an angel appeared to you. Better yet, tell her she has a voice beautiful enough to make her the next Christina Shusho. You will be swimming in her YOYO, probably in a Proboz on a kesha night.

#5. The ‘brainwashed by soaps’ girls:

Just vibe her in fluent English, show that you are a focused and romantic man. Practice that b3droom style she only sees in the ‘Single Ladies’ TV series then call her your butter and honey, Take her on movie and lunch dates and in 9 months you will be having triplets.

#6. The mboches:

You vibe her in her mother tongue, buy her cheap perfume from hawkers, continue vibing her in her mother tongue, take her out on Sunday to a Church when the ‘mama wa nyumba’ has given her an off. Make her take ushamba pictures at KICC and she will let you taste her places.

#7. The ‘hungry for life’ girls:

Promise her you’ll take her on a romantic trip to the coast, invest in her boutique business but just be cautious enough to avoid lengthy explanations because she will comprehend in just a blink of an eye and see through your lies. Just touch on bossy issues and you’ll be touring her hidden territories a.s.a.p.

#8. The ‘team thirsty’ girls:

Vibe her in English, she’ll pretend she’s not interested, vibe her in Sheng, she will pretend she didn’t hear but just talk dirty to her and place your hand on hers and she will begin saying ’yes yes’ as she leads your hands too her places.

#9. The ‘Guzzler’:

She pretends to drink like a connoisseur but she guzzles down several liters of beer. Alcohol is her fuel. She’s always at clubs and attends all events, with some guy’s money of course. Just buy her beer and tell her how beautiful she is then she’ll let you tell her more about it in bed

Curtesy of Chekinews.co.uk

A Hot Selfie Worth Your Attention

Enjoy;




Baby, Please Steal My Dick And Hide It In Your Pussy Before A Nyeri Woman Cuts It Off

If you steal my dick and hide it in your pussy, I will steal money from my wallet and hide it in your handbag!!!!
















My Experience with a Nax-Vegas Gold-Digger

Normally, a Kenyan gold digger is curvy, beautiful and accommodating. In fact, she has a body to die for or if you like, a booty to masturbate on! She claims that she is into careers such as acting, modeling, fashion and the like. In my case, I met a wanna-be model called 'Jane'(not her real name) she studies in a low profile college in a rift valley town, comes from a modest family headed by a single mum.

I meet her somewhere and we exchange numbers. She looks attractive and innocent – just as like my girls. As it turns out, she is 21. Months passed before I decided to call her. Upon picking, she gets confused about who is calling but agrees to a meeting anyway. She gives me directions to her home and I head there.

Alas, she appears, we hug and I invite her for lunch. She asks me for sometime so that she can go back home to finish washing utensils and change into something better. I wait in the car. About 40 minutes later she comes back. We head to town and out of the inconveniences of traffic jam, we decide to venture out of town… we have lunch and a few drinks... what I gather from her is that she is a student, model and likes traveling a lot. She gathers that I am a businessman running businesses in major towns and cities in the country. She is least interested in trivialities concerning what I like, my intentions with her, where I come from etc.

We end the day and I drop her at their home before leaving that town for Nairobi. Days pass as we talk on phone – I either call or she beeps, I call. On the forth day she texts - requesting me to send her some money for a ‘girlish’ shopping. I reply saying that I am not in a position to send. I give flimsy excuse that is not registered on mpesa (which actually I’m not). However, times goes on. We talk for days then my time to return to the Kenyan Vegas arrives. The only notable thing that I gather from those calls is that she has now decided to be taking only wines (not the makalis she is used to) and only outings that are out of town. – I ask her how many she has done so far, she said none.

I call her, tell her that I am in town and we should hook up. She comes covered with makeup all over. We go to town, buy some take away food. Also, she insists on taking some specific wine (a bit pricy for a student) I oblige. We leave. We arrive at a recreation site far away from town. We enjoy the day. Take our food and drinks. Drive back to town. She asks me to take her dancing on that night. Also, She reminds me that I owe her (the shopping money that I was unable to send as if she was not requesting in the first place) I take her shopping at a local supermarket. She picks everything that a girl desires…without enquiring about how much money I have or rather politely, what her budget limits should be (Since I’m the one paying)

We separate ways in the supermarket; I later bump on her on some expensive perfume section. Her shopping tray is full with girl stuff. I tell her that’s enough we go pay and leave. The shopping issue sorted (or so I thought). We get back into the car and head to a local club. There, she asks for the finest wines that the place can offer. (Again, not minding whether I have enough money left ‘after the long day’ for that.) Ok I order for some beer and we continue.

We talk about the usual nonsense that drunkards’ talks about as time passes. Notably she said that the men she has met so far have generally used her. Some take her out, screw her, do some shopping for her and drop her home. Worse still, there are those who take her out, screw her and give her Ksh200 for fare in the morning – Now I understand why they do that. She tells me that her birthday is coming in July and that I should do something. In between her blurbs, she mentions that she is suddenly on her period (Meaning that I can’t touch her on that night) but promises that if I take good care of her, take her to rave in Nairobi at skyluxx the next time I’m going there and let her stay in my Nairobi house, she will suck my dick and let my propeller pound her bearded clam (pussy) like nonsense. I drunkenly agree – I am too drunk to have an erection anyway. She speaks of something to do with condoms and preventing pregnancy but her face betrays her - Those pimples (acne) tells that shes more into P2s than rubber.

It’s getting late as she asks for more wine and water. The waiter brings each in a flash. From the blues... she says ‘I am hungry’. I buy some packed supper for us. But I refuse to take her to my house in that town – my houses are for wife materials. We instead head for a guest house…she goes to sleep dead drunk. As expected, I develop a faint erection at night; struggle to remove her blouse, trouser, panty and in the process I notice that she is wearing a sanitary pad (I suspect its one of those she bought earlier to hoodwink me). Like a mad man, I turn her naked self over shove my flabby dick inside her cave of wonders – no foreplay. She screams crazily like a wounded antelope. Unfortunately her pussy is too loose and too wet – I can’t feel it. Furthermore, she is showing some resistance. I don’t enjoy I don’t cum. I pull out. We sleep. Early morn, we wake up and I take her straight to her home…. Before parting, she asks me to fulfill my promise – I owe her shopping money remember! I brush it off.  She takes her SHOPPING, clothes and handbag. I watch her staggering home before driving away wondering how many times she had been dropped home by men after a night out.

A week passes and I receive a call from ‘Jane’. Its weekend, you should take me out. I say no and instead I go out with my boys. She later asks me to send her credit. I ignore that text. We fuel our guzzlers and burn mullah in local clubs like nonsense. We are not poor anyway. My boys and I do it on Saturday and Sunday. Jane’s phone is off through those days. Monday is a holiday anyway.

Mid Monday the bitch calls. She wants to meet me. I oblige. She appears; looking worked up as if she hadn’t had sleep for days. She was out of town with her friend. She claims that had a good time. But she is dead broke. She asked me to buy her some wine. I refuse.  She complained that I never give her money and that I didn’t send her credit the other day… I smile. I ask her how she was able to go for a gig out of town without money. She says her friend took her. Again, she added that even a thousand bob would help her. I say that my weekend cash has run out (the truth is that I had about 18k in the car at that time) She gets very mad. That’s a gold digger right there. She chucks out of the car. No bye, no hug, nothing.

I drive away… looking at the photo she had just uploaded on whatsapp being flanked by three guys the previous night at a swanky-mask party in Naivasha wondering which one had emptied their disgusting scrotum seeds in her and refused/or was unable to give her cash. I go to my office, happy that it was all over. I later called to inform her that I was no longer interested in her. I drive to Nairobi that evening to bonk her memory out of my system. My wife asks what has sharpened my dicking skills and I smile as I ejaculate Jane's memory from my scrotum.

Three days later, shes milking a connoisseur from Westlands who's probably more tolerant of gold diggers than me. The problem is, unlike me, he will end up with an emptier pocket than scrotum!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...